Stress relief

Are you feeling a bit stressed out lately? That's too bad, because Christmas is still 7 months away and if you're stressed out now imagine what a mess you'll be by then.

Of course in today's world there are many causes of stress. Even some of the post cards I receive make me so tense I practically get the vapors.

Gears, gears, keep 'em oiled, faster, faster.  Ooops, I almost forgot....I have to drive to the mall and the grocery and to get the vacuum cleaner repaired at Vacuum World (where you are sucked up against a plate glass window as soon as you enter - nose prints everywhere), and to the pharmacy (for nose bandages).

Honk, honk, why would anyone put a red light HERE, right in the middle of an intersection?  I tell you, even our cat Malcolm is all nerves, as you can see.

So I was thinking that some music therapy might be in order, just to calm everyone down. First, a request from Malcolm. Clyde the parrot wanted to hear something by Van Clydebird but of course Malcolm prefers a more feline touch on the 88's.

 

If you are fortunate, you may have an amateur band in your neighborhood. You could organize a block party with music, food, prizes, wind, hail, lightning, the whole package. Doesn't that sound relaxing?

Learning to play these large cymbals is quite an art. Many a would-be cymbalist has been beheaded before really getting the hang of it.

Dancing is optional. This is a form of square dance very popular in Oregon. The lightning rods on the hats make for some hot stepping.

Be sure to invite any local composers.

These are just suggestions. You might find it more relaxing to park at your nearby 45-theater complex, hike several miles to the entrance, pay a small admittance fee, and watch one of the latest movies. Just be careful to go into the correct theater or you could find yourself seeing a slightly older film. I really don't mind the older films, but the popcorn is SO stale.

If nothing else works, try yoga. I get so tangled up doing yoga that by the time I've gotten everything back where it's supposed to be I'm physically a wreck but mentally very relaxed.

Don't Be Shy Day

I'm whispering so that I won't disturb anyone. The meek SHALL inherit the earth, you know.

Ah to heck with that - let's make some noise! I now pronounce this the first annual International Don't Be Shy Day! Be confident that telling your friends and neighbors about this new holiday will arouse absolutely no interest. But you will have DONE it, and who cares what other people think of us anyway? I certainly don't.

Here are some ideas for living today to the fullest. Ideas can be carried over until tomorrow if you run out of time.

First, dress up in your best duck outfit and visit your local museum. Do not get twitchy if someone yells "DUCK!".

Stand out from the crowd by driving an antique automobile. Notice the looks of envy and amazement you receive. Offer to teach others about Ultramatic Drive.

Have an attack of the vapors while swinging in the park. You may be surprised at how many people run to your aid. With cameras.

Dress your entire family as famous movie characters and express confusion as to why no one else is Trick-Or-Treating.

Reassure each of your friends (if you have more than one) that the main character in your latest novel was NOT based upon them, although many will jump to that conclusion. Begin to dress like Virginia Woolf and show only your left profile, explaining that the other side of your face is just TOO ugly.

Announce your next dirigible trip in the Society pages of your local paper. Express sorrow that the flight is sold out.

If you follow the above suggestions, you will no longer be shy and will in fact feel very empowered. You will never be embarrassed by anything, no matter how embarrassing it may be.

And remember: